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4. For women searching for love from their fathers, husbands or boyfriends, what advice would you give them regarding their expectations?
Human beings are created with a deep, emotional need for love. But our primary need is for the love of our Creator. He knows every need we have, including the need for romantic love. But you know what Jesus told us? He said, “Seek me first, and I’ll provide everything else you need.” So I think the first thing I need to do is get my priorities straight, and make a concentrated effort to love God. And to trust that He loves me, and is capable of filling all the emotional holes.
I can tell you one thing. If I expect anyone other than God to supply all the love I need to make me happy – whether it’s a boyfriend or husband or father or mother or sister – anyone, I’m setting myself and my relationship up for failure. Nobody can be God for me except God.
5. You spend part of your time in Utah and the rest in Kentucky, so there are many months you don’t live near your sisters. In this day when many siblings live far apart, what do you recommend to create and keep a healthy sibling bond?
Text messaging is a wonderful thing! My sisters and I have unlimited texting to each other. And we’re on Facebook, too, so we stay in touch that way. My middle sister and I talk on the phone a lot as well. She has to drive about 30 minutes from work to home, and several days a week she’ll call me as she’s pulling out of the parking lot and we’ll talk until she pulls into her driveway.
But we also make it a point to get together in person as often as we can. Last year for mother’s day we took our mother for an overnight trip to a cabin in the mountains, and we decided we’re going to do that every year. When we get together for a sleepover, we talk for hours. You know, you sit up until 2 in the morning, and everybody’s tired but nobody wants to fall asleep because we don’t want to waste a single second of time with each other. I love that.
6. In Third Time's a Charm, Tori is given the heads-up that she's being considered for an important job promotion. She's ambitious, so she sacrifices time with her family and church in order to achieve her career goals. In today's competitive work environment, how can a career-minded person balance their personal and professional lives?
You mentioned the keyword here – balance. I worked in the corporate world for over 20 years, and more than half of that time was in management. So I understand the pressures of succeeding in that environment. We have to keep our priorities in mind. As one of the executives in Third Time’s a Charm says, “God first. Family second. Job third.”
But there are times when work does come first. Not over relationships, mind you, because our families should always be prioritized higher than our jobs. But in order to provide for a family by keeping a job, there are times when you have to work late in order to meet a deadline. Sometimes, if you have a large project going on at work, a job may require many nights of working late, and missing family events. Even missing church. It’s not reasonable to expect anything else.
That’s where the balance comes in. There are also times when personal obligations take priority over the job. And that’s okay. In fact, I think that should be the rule, and not the exception. If the high stress and long hours have no end, then something’s wrong. We have to evaluate, "Am I happy living my life like this for the foreseeable future? Is my family happy? Are all our needs being met?" And if the answer is no, then it’s time to think about making some changes.
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